Sitting in a little shoebox of heaven in St. Helena, with my 90lb chocolate labador companion, watching the vineyards and listening to the wind . Quitting my job and moving to the wine country has been my best decision yet . After my head almost spun off my shoulders from money woes, poor living conditions, and career clutter - my guru and dear friend, Sierra, felt my need through the ether and invited me to drop all my suffering and stay in her shoebox cottage in St. Helena . I’m taking care of children, falling in love with a chocolate lab named “Tank”, sharpening my supernatural abilities, and learning the terms of God-love and Free Will .

For a long time, my abilities made me feel more lonely than special . I didn’t notice that I felt that way, until I began to struggle with the Tribe . I had a deep need for them to understand, to force their third eyes open, and to paint my beliefs into their minds; not because it was necessary, but because I needed for others to approve of what I was feeling inside . I needed it desperately and I thought that would give me peace . But by imposing on all their choices, I was robbing them of their free will . And without free will, you can learn nothing of value . You throw mud on something pure when you rob people of their free will .

So Sierra is teaching me to switch roles . I am retiring as a “fixer” and becoming more of a wise witness . I am learning to watch with a twinkle in my eye, and not interfere or struggle with others . And since giving up my need to control and moving to St. Helena, I have been on many adventures . I’ve been playing in the “in-between” zone: the trance between asleep and awake . In these fleeting moments just before awakening, I can see more ghosts, experience more flashes of telepathy, and recieve unfiltered messages from my higher self . One night, after dreaming of the most romantic underwater kiss, I woke up in the in-between zone and saw Sierra astral-projecting - her spirit body sitting upright just above her body .

And just the other night, I woke up while I was still asleep . I’ve never felt trapped in my own body before, but I went to sleep, saw some pretty exciting dreams, popped back into my body - but couldn’t move or open my eyes . For moments, I was just twitching in bed, panicking, trying to open my eyes and look at the door . It did wear off overtime, but when it did, I felt especially drained .

Otherwise, I have been singing with rapture and dancing like a dervish . Laughing has been taking up all my time . Something about laughing until I cramp gives me so much peace . My novel is coming along very nicely, and I am so thankful for sweeping changes and friends that offer unconditional love . I thought that the country held my destiny, but it was only fourty miles away all along . (I truly believe that the fourth mile from St. Helena is the longest mile in the world . There must be a Time Pocket there somewhere .) I am yet again “going” without traveling, and it feels sooo good . Keep yer electric eyes on me, friends .

Lovers never lose .