It feels suffocating
Given the lack of faces
And city lights
And they all say its where you go
When it’s who you know
And how you get there
Did you have fun?
Did you have a drink?
Did you learn that coincidence makes you question the trees?
Small towns are heart havens
Waiting to pack your bags
I keep saying
Pack your bags
This, is no place to feel alive
And he says, we are poor
And I said, that, is temporary,
This place is temporary our jobs are temporary
Now hop on the train,
I’m going to feel
Boots, music, canned yams, new beaches, wine breathe, goddess breathe, out of the country feet
Out of the country toilet paper
I hold his hands-
You don’t have to be rich-
To see things.
My eyes already touch the sunny hill,
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has its inner light, even from a distance –
and changes us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it, we already are;
a gesture waves us on, answering our own wave …
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
A world did end the other day . . a world within myself. A part of me has been left behind, to never be seen or felt again. I am bolder, more brazen, and I’ve re-discovered the infallible power of faith. This is a Golden Age . . of inner-focus. This time, I will be an expert on what gives me joy. This time, there won’t be a reversal on the pendulum swing. This time, I create my reality, and only spiral up . . and up . .and up. Inner-focus is the mantra, and the fulfilment of my individual values is the nectar. Whatever gets you through the night . . it’s alright . . it’s alright . .
“Let’s build a house with no walls, telepathically channel the thoughts of a star, or master raising our vibrations for astral travel!” he offered, peeling the skin off of a plastic fruit.
“I would love to travel astrally! Lets go now!” she beamed.
“Now now . . we have to master raising our vibrations first,” he admonished, gently. “Let’s practice by turning every bad moment on its head here in the Third Dimension. Otherwise, we could lose our way home, darling. Who knows what you could attract out there?” The Mistress of the Nightly Ebbs had a feeling he knew exactly what you could find “out there”, but imagined raising her vibration was an awful lot like building a home . . or bringing home to you.
lord let me remember how it was
when i nudged my skin
against the touch of each morning
and bounded through
the thick thought-forests
…that stretched between dawn and noon,
when like magic my lunch was put before me.
lord let me remember how it was
when i was so new
that i thought i was part of the morning.
i didn’t want to sleep
for fear the world would disappear
but new days kept coming and coming.
the old ones slipped away one by one,
but were always replenished.
lord let me remember how it was
when i nuzzled the air in the morning
and thought i could wiggle a distant leaf
as i moved my own ears and toes.
i thought that i caused the rain to fall
just as the tears from my own eyes
wet my cheeks,
and that my thoughts turned into clouds
that circled the top of my head.
|—||Jane Roberts, September 1974|
My favorite Jck Dvy project yet, “Like That” is the first official video from Side-B of her “L0-F!” solo project! Every word hits home with me right now. I swear this woman can intuit my thoughts. This song is pints, leather, and the freedom to flower.
“I love you with all my stars!” he shouted.
“So . . you don’t love me with all your heart?” she teased, flushed.
“Any fearless individual can love with his whole heart,” he replied smugly. “But to love someone with your very stars, your wild-blue-yonder cosmic blueprint . . well, that’s something else entirely.” And then he winked at her, and kicked up a few puddles; for he knew that he had spoken it fast enough that she wouldn’t find enough complexity to doubt . . but slow enough that it would settle in her heart forever.
Chris: We are going to hike up this hill.
ME: I hate hiking up-hill!
Chris: We are going to hike this hill, so that we can envoke passion and intensity.
ME: What is it with non-magical folk? Hiking to feel passion and intensity? I am a wizard! We don’t climb mountains to envoke passion and intensity! We conjure passion and intensity from thin air! As a wizard, I only do things because they please me . . and I’m going to pretend that hiking this trail pleases me.
(And thus began the greatest hike of my life.)
If you ever get caught in a round or two
of the head shrinker’s current favorite game
called “truth confrontation” prepare yourself for a possible shock
that can lock a heart
or screw a mind uptight.
You know the rules
All players sock it to each other like it is
to peel away layers of self pretense
with no points given
for the desperate maneuvers of self defense
or strategies to salvage pride
and when you pass “Go”
you collect 200 pieces
of a massive wounded ego
But if you really want to win
and cut through all the lies
remember that you don’t play “truth” with words
you play it with your eyes
When I think about the relationship between the fourth-dimensional self (Higher Self/Supraconscious), the third-dimensional self (me/you), and the two-dimensional self (shadow), I picture three roomates in an apartment. 4D is always laughing, doesn’t understand time or the agreements of nature, manages to conveniently “fall asleep” whenever things are begun without joy, and spoils 3D rotten, all the while trying to make him laugh. 3D is slightly more serious, for he agreed when he moved into the apartment that he would “think”, and because of the continuum of thought, 3D exists in “time”.
3D is an inventor, and spends most of his time in his room creating inventions. He is naturally suspicious of 4D, but everyone knows that his best inventions come when he lightens up and lets 4D assist him in inventing. 2D is the youngest, and chose when he moved in to put down his “depth” as the security deposit, while retaining his two dimensions of “heighth” and “width”. 3D is always fretting over 2D, making sure his contours are perfect, double-checking to make sure his shapes are orderly, but 2D doesn’t give any thought to his own appearence. 2D has the convenience of not thinking at all, and is perfectly pleased that way, living a more basic (and slightly more impulsive) lifestyle.
Occasionally 3D will fall into depression, because through all of his fretting over 2D (and dealing with 2D’s returned indifference) 3D begins to confuse 2D with himself, and wanders around morosely, seeking his own feeling of “depth”, and forgetting to return to the inventions he loves so much. But eventually, 3D will return to his room on his own, or 4D will go out and spend the night looking for him, and they’ll return home together to work on an invention. And then 2D will join in, “thinking” nothing, but happy to be in their company. And they’ll stay up all night drinking, dance around the apartment, and then fall asleep together on the couch, perfectly perfect.